we have reached 21st century ! in olden times it was comparatively easier to raise children , parents didn’t had to plan ahead and take every step prior but ,now times have changed. children are no longer naive as they used to be . there used to be a time when a 9 or 10 year old kid sees a dream and he used to rush to his father and talk abou’ it now do you think the kids are doing the same . do they go with their problems to their parents ? if , by chance the problem is too big then yeah they may go but to whom ? about 90% of the kids rush to their mothers instead of the fathers ! and when they start telling her abou it , the first thing they tell her is “don’t tell dad” and then he goes on .. the fact that in the olden times the child had such good relationship with his dad is because of the father itself . He should be such a father that what so ever the problem is the child should be able to talk to his dad . it shouldn’t be like the father is commanding and saying ” if something happens you better come to me and tell me , you hear” ? no ! the kid should come himself !
that’s huge ! this is the first thing about the parenting that a father should learn before even getting into details about parenting .let’s me tell you how its done . it starts from the very first conversation with your kid itself . remember don’t take your kids words lightly when they talk to you , listen to em give em a hear . whatever that maybe you gotta hear them out ! and before even opening your mouth to respond , think !for example the kid comes to you complaining about him getting bullied in the class so , instead of scolding him and telling him that he must have done something wrong , try to take your kids side and tell him that he is gonna talk that kids parents . this way you not only became a hero infront of your kids eyes but you got his trust . now for every big or a small thing he is definitely gonna come to you. why does your kid need to make a best friend when you can be one !? this parenting is only needed till the kid turns 15 that’s all . as you know for a good building you need a good foundation same goes for every thing in life . even to get good marks in maths your basics should be clear , to earn masters same goes on ! if in that earlier case you would just scold your kid then he’ll get the impression that you don’t like to talk about such things and he will never come to you to talk about his problems. do you want that ? i know that fathers are busy people and they have their frustrations going on from the office and stuffs but hey, this is your kid ! please keep your shit together and learn to manage things . keep your office work in office and after you are back to the house make sure you spend time with your kid in helping their homework , talking about your childhood , be playful ! I’m not concentrating much on mothers as of now because mothers are always there somewhere in the picture and every child loves their mother. so fathers , this is how you start ,right from the beginning right from the time they get their new fairy teeth . every person makes a to do list when he/she gets up in the morning . please make sure u put it on the top . taking your kids off from the school and driving them to the schools are little small gestures you can definitely no doubt about them can do . please don’t say i’m working so hard so as to provide my kids with everything they need . that’s BS ! all they need is your time . make sure you spend sundays with them , go out picnic with em . teach em a new game ,talk about spirituality and tell them that in life the aim should be to be a good human . if you inculcate such good habits instead of making them stress about becoming a doctor or engineer they will eventually do good because being good gets you everything good. be there when they need you , when they fail , attend the sports day , annual days . when they talk listen with full enthusiasm . talk about your experience , read good books to them . make your kids mature from early age let them know that to be humble to parents and be good to them is the greatest achievement and god is not gonna ask them why didn’t you become a doctor when they go to him .tell them that whatever they may become you are always gonna be proud of them . never ever tell them to become this or that . just concentrate on the grade they are in and make sure they get sufficient knowledge about every thing they read. now here comes the mother . you fellas must be wondering this woman is jus bragging about fathers duties LOL. well , now mothers ! fingers at y’all  the thing is as god has created this wonderful bond between a mother a child that no child in this world disrespects her mother how bad she may be . we all love them . well , here in this topic i’m only shedding the lights on the foundation i.e. till they get 15 ! wait up for the next article 
so , yeah ! motherss  well , mother has seen everything about her child ,. she knows her bad habits as well as good habits . almost everything and please i’m talking about the typical indian women . today’s business tycoon women and 24/7 racing among the men to get that gold -you gals are outta here , sorry ! because mother’s definition is to provide she after a certain age should stay back at home and raise her kids . well , if you’re a teacher and have 9 to 5pm then you’re good to go but, not the 24/7 types like men . because when u become the later you get same teachings as i gave to the fathers. and let me tell you that’s real SAD !:( i’m not saying don’t reach for the stars or shoot for the moon ! please don’t attack me saying that i want to take women freedom away and all that  . but, deep inside the hearts you know , how your house works ! so for the women who atleast are at home by 5pm in the evening for them i would advice that nourish your kids with better words . i still remember the things my mom used to tell me to sleep and that indeed has taken all over me now in terms of spirituality though as time passes they get less spiritual but i got that inherited and i have certain values of life . i would say that my mom’s parenting was the best . after she got me and my sister she spent her life till we turned 16 to raise us . listening to us , making us doing our homeworks , teaching how to behave and she used to meet all my friends . she would totally get involved in my friends , till now if you ask about the girl who did wrong to me at certain grade she would straight away tell me her name n even her address maybe LOL but since i come from an army background addresses might have changed   
but, i’m sure you got the point . please don’t run behind the riches . god has made man as a fuel for the family and women to provide let’s restore it that way otherwise its you who gotta answer when you go up there.  god is gonna ask did i tell you to work ? LOL the only reason kids growing up real mean and bad tempered is because of this , no kid is to be blamed . its the parenting that shows later on ! your kids are your mirrors and if you hope to get a good treatment when you get old get up now , its a high time . it’ll be better if you understand now. give them all your attention and they will be yours forever , i promise ! No matter what  
Have a great Life !
by NILOFER KHAN
BLOGGER @Helpingbrain.org